If you are in a relationship, you may be wondering if you and your partner are truly compatible and if the relationship can go the distance. Compatibility isn’t exclusive to romantic relationships, but it is an important factor in them.

Many people mistake compatibility for love and don’t truly understand what it means to be compatible with someone. So, let’s dive a little deeper into what it means to be compatible. 

What Is Compatibility?

Compatibility is all about complementing another person. It means you connect with someone very easily, enjoy their company, share similar hobbies and interests, and your morals and beliefs line up. 

Being compatible with someone means that you are on the same page. You treat each other with respect, care, and equality. 

In short, being compatible with your partner simply means that you work well together and you enjoy each other’s company. You tend to have similar interests, are in sync, and have similar values for your future. 

When you are in a relationship with someone you are compatible with, the relationship runs far more smoothly, and is more likely to last for the long term. 

man kissing his girlfiend on forehead with mountain overlook behind them

Why Is Compatibility Important?

Let’s face it, we don’t always pick the right partners for ourselves. When these kinds of relationships end, we simply say it didn’t work out, or that they weren’t compatible. This is because compatibility is so vital in a successful relationship. 

When you are compatible with someone, you will simply get along. Even if you have disagreements, you’ll work them out. You will have a better understanding of one another, and accept one another for who you are, which means far fewer arguments or fights. 

Compatibility is also important because you will fit seamlessly into each other’s lives. Even after the honeymoon period is over, you can fit well into your partner’s friendship circle, family, and life as a whole. 

Compatibility Is Not the Same as Love

Love and compatibility are not the same thing. When you’re looking for a life partner, you may gravitate towards or settle for someone who is not really that compatible simply because you have feelings for them. But feelings alone are not enough. 

Many people make the mistake of thinking that just because you are in love, it means you are compatible as a couple, but this is not always the case. Likewise, just because you are compatible, it doesn’t mean you will automatically love that person. 

For instance, you and your partner could have the same love for obscure cinema, or share the same common goal for marriage and kids, but you may feel something is missing. There could be no spark or little romance in your life, and you may be unsure if the relationship is for you. 

This is because, while compatibility is such an important factor in a successful coupling, it is not the most important. A happy relationship should also make you feel fulfilled, but there should also be an attraction. 

The other thing is that compatibility is not just determined by your personal traits and values. To be truly compatible, you need to both be willing to change and grow together. You both need to make sacrifices, and change behaviors in order for the relationship to truly blossom. 

Therefore, if you are unsure if you’re compatible with your partner, or of the future of your relationship, then it is a good time to reach out for guidance in couples counseling. You can work through your issues as a team and find out what both of you need from each other in order to make your partnership strong and successful. 

About the author(s)

Karen is the founder and Clinical Director of Cohesive Therapy NYC. She earned a Masters in Social Work from New York University and has extensive training in Hypnosis, Anxiety, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Brainspotting, and DGBI. She is a member of the Institute of Certified Anxiety Treatment Professionals, The Rome Foundation, the National Association of Social Workers, The Crohn's and Colitis Foundation, and the American Social of Clinical Hypnosis.

About Cohesive Therapy NYC

At Cohesive Therapy NYC, we believe that you have an immense amount of inner strength and resilience, even if it is yet to be discovered. Cohesive Therapy NYC is a private group psychotherapy practice in New York City that focuses on treating adults who struggle with Anxiety, Trauma, Chronic Illness, and the adult impact of Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN). Cohesive Therapy NYC therapists see clients all throughout New York State (Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn, Bronx, Staten Island, Westchester, and statewide) using online therapy and are also available for in-person visits in their NYC offices, located at 59 East 54th Street, New York, NY 10022. We specialize in helping people who are dealing with anxiety, relationship issues, chronic illness, and digestive and adult trauma related to childhood family dynamics. We all deserve a chance to be well and have support.