You’ve probably heard of the acronym “IQ” before. It’s a score based on a person’s intelligence. But a person is much more than just a test score based on their ability to solve problems through thinking, reason, and strategy.

A person has feelings and emotions on top of all of those thoughts that are constantly circling and spiraling in and out of their head. IQ scores can be improved with studying, learning, reading, writing, and through education and schooling.

But how can someone improve their own emotions and feelings? For some, they may even feel like their emotions or feelings control them instead of the other way around. That’s what emotional intelligence is for.

Let’s learn more about why it’s important to cultivate emotional intelligence and how you can do it.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is the ability to express and control one’s emotions. But it doesn’t stop there. Emotional intelligence also involves understanding, interpreting, and responding to the emotions of others.

Why is Emotional Intelligence Important?

Many individuals believe that emotional intelligence (EI) or emotional quotient (EQ) is just as if not more important than intelligence quotient (IQ). In recent years, there’s been more of a focus on how to improve emotional intelligence within both the academic and professional worlds. These are just a few of the many different ways that emotional intelligence can have a positive impact.

photo of a smiling man wearing a business suit standing in an alleyway


Individuals who have a higher emotional intelligence are more likely to be empathetic and show empathy for others. People with emotional intelligence are able to consider others and how they may be thinking or feeling. This small action can help someone see something from someone else’s perspective or step into their shoes. It can also help them cater to their communication or communication style when speaking directly with them.

Respond More Rationally

Emotions have a way of taking over sometimes, especially if situations are stressful or situations in which you may be passionate about a certain topic. Emotional intelligence can help no matter if the situation that you’re in is positive or negative. When you have emotional intelligence, you’re able to take a step back and think before you speak or react. Taking a step back to pause and reflect on what you’re going to do or say can help take your emotions out of the equation and help keep you level-headed. It can also prevent you from doing or saying things that you’ll later regret.


In addition to having a stronger sense of empathy, self-awareness is also increased when emotional intelligence is present. Not only are people with emotional intelligence better able to consider others and how they may be feeling, but they’re also able to dig deeper into understanding their own feelings. Instead of letting their emotions be the ones in control, they’re able to grab the reigns again and consider the different factors or attributes happening in their life that can be contributing to how they may be feeling about certain situations.

How to Cultivate Emotional Intelligence

If you’re not that familiar with emotional intelligence, it’s okay! Not only are we here to help, but you’re actually probably already unconsciously working on improving your own emotional intelligence without even realizing it! These are just a few of the different ways that you can improve your own emotional intelligence:

  • Empathize with others
  • Listen (verbally and non-verbally)
  • Reflect on your own emotions, behaviors, and decisions

Next Steps

Emotional intelligence can help you improve your own abilities and also your relationships with others. If you want a little more support and push towards working to improve your emotional intelligence, we’re here to help. Emotional intelligence is something that can constantly be worked on and improved upon. Reach out to us today to set up a consultation for career coaching or anxiety therapy.

About the author(s)

Karen is the founder and Clinical Director of Cohesive Therapy NYC. She earned a Masters in Social Work from New York University and has extensive training in Hypnosis, Anxiety, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Brainspotting, and DGBI. She is a member of the Institute of Certified Anxiety Treatment Professionals, The Rome Foundation, the National Association of Social Workers, The Crohn's and Colitis Foundation, and the American Social of Clinical Hypnosis.

About Cohesive Therapy NYC

At Cohesive Therapy NYC, we believe that you have an immense amount of inner strength and resilience, even if it is yet to be discovered. Cohesive Therapy NYC is a private group psychotherapy practice in New York City that focuses on treating adults who struggle with Anxiety, Trauma, Chronic Illness, and the adult impact of Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN). Cohesive Therapy NYC therapists see clients all throughout New York State (Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn, Bronx, Staten Island, Westchester, and statewide) using online therapy and are also available for in-person visits in their NYC offices, located at 59 East 54th Street, New York, NY 10022. We specialize in helping people who are dealing with anxiety, relationship issues, chronic illness, and digestive and adult trauma related to childhood family dynamics. We all deserve a chance to be well and have support.